Happy Birthday

I once read this book called "Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas" by James Patterson.  It's a diary of letters that a mom writes to her unborn child about her pregnancy.  It's a tragic story and I won't really tell you much more about the storyline because I think everybody should read it.  I've thought about this book so much since Jaxson has been born a year ago.  I decided that I would write a letter to Jaxson on his first birthday so that he will know how much he was loved and will always be loved.  I will share it with you.....

Dear Jaxson

Today is your birthday!  I cannot believe that you are turning ONE!  This past year has been the scariest but most rewarding year of my life.  I remember the day that I went to the hospital to bring you into this world like it was yesterday.  I can remember jumping out of bed at 4:30 in the morning to take a shower and make sure all of the “loose ends” were tied before leaving.  I can remember waking your daddy up and telling him it was time to go.  I remember walking in the hospital doors thinking to myself “The next time I walk through these doors I will be carrying a piece of perfection”.  I was excited but scared to death of what was to come in the next few hours.

 

 

 I thought you would be born that Monday but you decided that Tuesday was going to be YOUR day.  Around 2 o’clock on Tuesday, April 13^th the nurses thought it was time to get Dr. Victores for your appearance.  You, my baby, had other plans.  I pushed and pushed and you were SO close to showing your face, but all you would give us was a glimpse of the top of your head.  You were keeping us in suspense.  I had to get a C-section to get you to finally come out.  It all happened so quickly.  One minute I was rolling down the hallways of the hospital and the next I could see your Daddy’s face light up and you were pulled out.  

It was a moment that I will remember forever.  Your Daddy held you up to me so I could catch a glimpse of your precious face.  I will be honest, I didn’t recognize you.  I thought you would have looked more like me.  You were your daddy’s boy right from the beginning.   The nurse brought you to me after they gave you a bath in the nursery.  Everybody had already left for the night to give us some rest.  I was terrified.  I didn’t know what to do with you.  Your daddy and I had a couple of panic moments throughout the night and neither one of us slept.  I can remember that I was so happy to see the sunrise that next day. 

The first couple of nights I couldn’t sleep.  It wasn’t because of you having your days and nights mixed up.  It was because I had anxiety of the kind of mom that I would be for you.  Nobody tells you how to take care of a baby.  There is no science equation or written rule on how to feed you, when to bath you, where you should take your naps….Over the past year I have tried to raise you to be a strong little boy.  I want you to become independent but still run to me when you need help.  I hope that you will grow to know that there is an awesome being, more powerful than you can imagine that knew you even before I did.  God is wonderful and has a strange sense of humor.  I know this personally, mainly because he blessed me with you. 

Some people may call me biased but I think you are one smart cookie.  You have accomplished so much in your one year of life and I couldn’t be more proud.  You know how to flush the toilet, brush your teeth, you took off walking on the day of your 1^st birthday party, MAMA and DADADADADA are a common vocabulary word, and you think Salem’s cage is your playground.

My mother tells me this and I will tell you the same thing, always and forever.  I love you more than all the stars in the sky and all the sand on the beach.  Happy 1^st Birthday my baby!!!

Love

Mommy

Couple of thoughts from my week

Good news everyone....I finished my 5K in 32.02 minutes.  It was a splendid day.  I can't tell you how proud of myself I really was when I finished that day.  I've already signed up for my next race and I'm super excited about it.  More on that topic later. 

The big 1st Birthday party is on Saturday.  Besides actually making the food, I think everything is ready to go.  I cannot believe that I am about to have a one year old little person.  People always make the statement that time flies by so quickly and I am now understanding this to its full meaning.  My baby, my first born, the one that made me a mother, is about to turn ONE!!!  Landon and I have laid in bed and laughed so many times the past couple of weeks at the people we were at this time last year.  

Every morning we turn on the Disney Channel to catch a little Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  Nothing brighens my day more than having to do the "Hot Dog" dance.  One morning last week there was a break in the show.  This poem was being read called "Mother's Song" and it brought me to tears.  Please imagine images of Dumbo's mother cuddling him and Bambi's mother hovering over him in the forest before she DIES as this poem is being read......

Mother's Song
a Traditional Lullaby

My heart is like a fountain true
That flows and flows with love to you.
As chirps the lark unto the tree
...So chirps my pretty babe to me.

There's not a rose where'er I seek,
As comely as my baby's cheek.
There's not a comb of honey-bee,
So full of sweets as babe to me.

There's not a star that shines on high,
Is brighter than my baby's eye.
There's not a boat upon the sea,
Can dance as baby does to me.

No silk was ever spun so fine
As is the hair of baby mine.
My baby smells more sweet to me
Than smells in spring the elder tree.

A little fish swims in the well,
So in my heart does baby dwell.
A little flower blows on the tree,
My baby is the flower to me.

The Queen has sceptre, crown and ball,
You are my sceptre, crown and all.

For all her robes of royal silk,
More fair your skin, as white as milk.

Ten thousand parks where deer do run,
Ten thousand roses in the sun,
Ten thousand pearls beneath the sea,
My babe more precious is to me.

TALK ABOUT TRAGIC!!!!!!  I was boo-hooing at the end of this little segment.  Thank you Disney Channel for, as always, a cheery morning in the Wright Household. 

On a lighter note, I want to spruce up my blog but need some SERIOUS pointers.  I've been mucho basic with my blog from the beginning and have now become a little envious of those that have the artistic gene that somehow I'm lacking.  HELP!!!

My little man and his mommy!

Count Your Blessings

It's Wednesday and I'm having a hard time making it through this week.  I think my problem is just being plum pooped.  I have been pushing myself to run my first 5k post baby.  Honestly I've only run 1 5k in my entire life but this one is still post baby.  The big day is on Saturday and I've done really well with my "training".  Jaxson's birthday party is next Saturday and I've been hoping for good weather.  My little man has absolutely no idea about his big day.  All he knows is that I have a 2 big boxes of Cracker Jacks sitting in my dining room that always results in a big "NO!" when he tries to get into the plastic wrapping. On days like today I'm reminding myself to count my blessings, one by one.  I have a happy and healthy little boy that loves me unconditionally.  Selfishly, I think parents need unconditional love.  I also have a cute little chihuaua that loves me unconditionally as well.  I can't leave her out of this.  Blessing #2:  My husband believes I'm beautiful, no matter my weight.  He has done a wonderful job supporting me on my Weight Watching adventure and 5K goal.  I do believe he would still love me if I hadn't volunteered on this quest.  I really really have about 100 more blessings to count but I just made myself feel better talking about Jaxson, Salem, and Landon.

This week I have been picking Jaxson up from daycare because Landon has been working on his first commercial landscaping job.  I have wanted to give him every opportunity to succeed with this job because it's kind of a big deal! I have thoroughly enjoyed watching Jaxson's face light up when he sees me come to his Nene's door.  It makes my heart smile.  After picking him up today I decided that we needed to make a pit stop at the park before going home.  Jaxson and I have gone to the park once before and L-O-V-E-D the swings.  So guess what we did today.......

It was a great day at the park.  

Hope you love my mad photography skills.  

My day is complete.  I'm in bed with my 2 boys and puppy and life couldn't get much better.

Remember to count your blessings!

Cry It Out

Dr. Richard Ferber is full of it!!!  His Ferberizing method is not only cruel for a child, but it's pure torture for a mom.  Last night I decided to try this "Cry It Out" method of putting a child to sleep on Jaxson.  I'm going to recap last night's events for you. 

8:00 pm-Arrived home from a fun-filled weekend with family in Livingston.  Jaxson was so tired he was almost crazy. 

8:30 pm-Took Jaxson upstairs for his bath.  I let him play in the tub to burn any ounce of energy I thought he might have bottle up. 

9:05 pm:  Landon gave Jaxson his bottle before bed.  Jaxson wants to play a little bit more while I take my bath.

9:27 pm:  I decided that I'm going to put Jaxson in his own bed to see if he will fall asleep on his own.

9:31 pm:  I felt my heart being ripped out of my chest as my child screams "MOMMMAAA" and crying uncontrollably. 

9:40 pm:  I'm in Jaxson's room crying with him. 

There was NO soothing him after that.  I took him back in my room to try to get him to fall asleep and he wouldn't take his eyes off of me.  Needless to say, Jaxson slept in between Mom and Dad last night. 

I don't think I'll be trying this again anytime soon.  I made the mistake of rocking/holding him as he goes to sleep at night ever since he was a tiny baby.  I have no problem rocking him to sleep until he's grown and gone to college.  He's my baby!

Round of Applause

I'm totally giving myself a round of applause today.  Remember my post about Weight Watchers??  I hate to brag but its working.  I weighed myself this morning on my handy dandy little scale and I have lost 3.9 pounds.  That really doesn't sound like a tremendous amount of weight but it's losing, not gaining!  I feel awesome.  I can see stomach muscles appearing, my BINGO arms are diminishing, I can see calf muscles becoming a little more defined.  I  actually ran a little over a mile yesterday in under 13 minutes without stopping.  I have enjoyed waking up the past 2 weeks a little earlier than normal to go get a kick butt workout.  Some afternoons I go for a jog instead of going to the gym because the weather has been GORGEOUS!  At the beginning of the year I swore that I wouldn't be wearing a bathing suit this year.  I think I might be changing my mind....I'll keep you updated.

Thank you for listening!!!   

Look Mom..No Hands!

It's happening! Jaxson is standing on his own with nothing there to catch him when he falls (except for his hands of course).  This is a little too scary for me.  I am emotionally confused.  87% of me is extremely excited and proud of the milestones that my son has accomplished in the past 3 months.  The other 13% wants to turn back the clock 6 months.  He is growing up and nothing is holding him back. 

Sometimes I panic when I think about Jaxson starting Kindergarten.  We still have a LONG way to go before this happens but that's how much I worry about him growing up.  I'm not normal.  I almost feel sorry for Jaxson having a mother like myself.  The other day I called my mom to tell her about a little boy I saw walking to school.  He couldn't have been any older than 8 years old, red hair, and a big cut on the side of his lip.  This is what I was picturing about the little guy: 

His mother had to leave for work very early and he was forced to walk to school or ride the bus.  Some of the older kids on the bus made fun of him and beat him up on the bus so he chose to walk to school from then on. 

My visions had me in tears!!!!!  Again, I am not normal.  I told my mother that I would NEVER allow Jaxson to walk to school.  She proceeded to tell me that I was going to shelter Jaxson and she already felt pity on him, not because he wouldn't be able to walk to school but because his mother is a nut. 

All of these thoughts have stemmed from Jaxson standing on his own.  Funny how my mind wonders......

I'm Weight Watching

NOTE:  This post is about me so if you were hoping it was about Jaxson, I give you permission to skip over until next post (although he did contribute to the reason of this post)

I joined Weight Watchers last week.  I figured if they helped Jennifer Hudson look that good, I may as well give it a shot!

This is Jennifer Hudson BEFORE and AFTER Weight Watchers. 

Some of you may tell me that "I don't need to lose weight, you look great after having a baby".  I agree with you, I do look great; however, I had my baby 10+ months ago.  It's time for these last 17 lbs to come off.  The reason for my post is for accountability reasons.  I don't want to fail.  I feel like if I tell everyone about my weight loss adventure, I can't let you down. I haven't weighed myself this week to determine if any weight has come off.  Stepping on the scale is scary.  I would almost rather come face to face with an alligator than step on a scale.  This is the reason that Landon and I don't own one.  I am going to buy one today on my lunch break because I can't measure my success without one. 

One thing that Weight Watchers tries to teach is portion control.  That is a big thing for me.  I live in Texas.  Everything is big in Texas!  I don't want to be though.  WW also says drink 8 glasses of water a day.  After 4 glasses you get a smiley face.  Its the simple things...I know. 

I have also started working out again.  I am trying to make it to either a workout class or go to the gym at least 3 times a week.  I managed to accomplish that last week and it was awesome!  I don't know if this will last forever. Last week I couldn't keep my eyes open past 9:00 pm.  I barely had enough energy to brush my teeth at night.  Maybe this is just motherhood and I should get used to it.  My mother's advice...."maybe you should increase your vitamins".  Oh Mom!!!

I will keep you updated, whether you care to know or not! Accountability my friends....

PS  Diet Coke is 0 points on the Weight Watchers system. At least that is a plus!

If anyone from the Weight Watchers Corpoation is reading this, I will be glad to be your next spokeswoman.